In the past, I have been the type that would hold grudges.
At times, I probably thought I was one of the world’s best at holding grudges.
I always believed that if someone fucked me over, I had to fuck them over twice as bad.
And this is what I did for a long time.
I would hold a grudge and I wouldn’t forget about it. Ever.
Looking back now though, I can see how much time and energy I wasted doing this.
And for what?
A little self-amusement because I liked knowing I had won and had the last laugh.
How times change though…
Over the last couple of years I have made a more conscious effort to not hold grudges.
Why waste my time and energy thinking about someone or something that has already happened.
I need to be focusing on the present and the future. What’s done, is done.
Generally speaking, I think I have done pretty well.
However, there have been a couple of situations that I couldn’t as easily forget about from my past which has made me keep a grudge towards the people involved.
I’m not proud to say that, but it’s the truth.
Things changed over the past week though…
I was unexpectedly confronted by one of my long-time grudges.
My first reaction was to let loose with a verbal barrage of words which I would’ve been ashamed to repeat. Followed by a punch to the face.
But I didn’t.
Instead, for the first time towards a grudge of mine, I was the bigger man.
I spoke to the person, listened to the person and showed a general interest in what they had to say and what was going on in their life.
I lead the conversation, kept it positive and wished them well at the end of it.
Ever since I have had this sense of relief inside of me. It’s hard to explain.
It’s like a weight deep inside of me has been lifted.
I have since committed to just letting go of the remaining grudges I had. There’s no point in them.
The way I look at things, what used to make me hold a grudge towards someone, most of the time wouldn’t have been their own fault anyway.
It would’ve been a quick reaction to something, not thinking before doing something, a sense of insecurity, or doing something out of fear that caused a situation between themselves and me.
I feel better knowing I have no room for grudges anymore.
If you hold grudges, is it time to let them go?